You cannot give, unless you have. You cannot make someone else happy when you’re not happy. You cannot love someone else unless you have learnt to love yourself first.
I used to always read about how being spiritual means being selfless, and to give yourself to the world. I believed this and it kept me from seeing how wrong I was and how damaging what I was doing actually was.
I would always be in a state of lack because I thought I was doing a good thing, and expected something good will soon come to me magically, because something somewhere would reward this kind of behaviour.
But who was actually the “rewarder” for this kind of behaviour? Its actually yourself, because we control 100 % of everything that happens in our life, all the good things and all the bad things.
There is never an outside force, but all forces come from within you and manifests into the world you see. So understanding this, without having there is no giving.
We are energy regulators, we control everything in our personal universe which we all have. So by having a sense of lack through our “doing” good, this is doing more harm to the external world, and the people around you. Everyone is an aspect of you, a reflection of your beliefs. You must first have abundance, before you can give it out.
The act of selfless giving, isn’t a bad thing in itself. It is the recognition of other’s lack, and the understanding that other’s are in a position where they may need more of what you have. But when you are in a state of lack yourself, generally people will be selfless in order to gain something else, from some unknown dimension where things will be given to you.
That is giving your power away to an idea you have formed from society. There is no “out-there” that will give you what you want, there is only “you”. YOU give you what you want, both physically and metaphysically.
You cannot give, unless you have. You cannot make someone else happy, when you yourself are sad. You cannot lovesomeone else unless you have learnt to love yourself first.
So by being selfish simply means putting yourself first, in order to help others. There is the selfishness where you will help yourself, for the sole purpose of greed and personal satisfaction. This is selfishness and this is wrong. But when you become selfish with a state of mind to help others, there is nothing wrong with this. This is the first step in all selfless acts, is to first help yourself and get your own path in order.
There is nothing “selfless” about putting yourself last and having this affecting your state of mind and your living circumstances. This is personal sacrifice without self love, which is damaging.
But when you put yourself first, for the benefit of others, this acts as inspiration and leverage to push you towards your own personal success which in turn inspires others.