An Ayahuasca Interaction


ayahuasca-pleasant-vision
Browsing Reddit earlier today I came across this beautifully written post. It is an interaction between mother Ayahuasca and an Ayahuasca taker. The interaction of one, as I like to see it. I’ve posted the excerpt below, hope you enjoy it.

***

Look, uh… this is gonna be long.


It’s pitch black. My eyes are closed. The only sounds I hear are the odd shuffling of feet, a sniffle. It’s been ten minutes since I slammed that black goop down my gullet, shotglass-style. It smelled so good. It tasted so bad. Is it me, or is the shaman glowing? … trick question, I suppose.

Twenty minutes. The woman is singing. It sends a shiver down my spine that coalesces into a hum. Oh. Ooohhh. My limbs are happy. This. I dance in my seat.

Thirty minutes. Faint twisting twirling dervishes of color and intangible form, disintegrating into the middle. Forever. It’s smiling. It’s not.

What are you? I mean… what. The fuck are you?

I am ayahuasca. You drank me.

How… old are you?

What a funny question.

… why are you speaking in my own voice?

You know why.

Oh, Jesus.

Precisely. So what brings you here?

… you know what.

That’s the spirit.

Why am I seeing this sort of tunnel? Everything is exponentially slamming together, faster and faster into the center of my… “vision”?

That’s us.

That’s time?

Yes. Would you like to see more?

I dunno… last time I saw infinity, I ended up in the fetal position in a dirty bathroom. Can I trust you?

You can do anything.

Fair enough.

… holy shhh

And it does that over and over? Forever? The universe is nothing but a fucking feedback loop of expansion and contraction?

Not necessarily. Look more.

It’s… speeding up. It’s neither expansion nor contraction.

That’s humans. That’s now. Let’s go back to that in a minute. I want to talk about you.

___ minutes. It is now now o’clock. I hear my fellow humans retching. Splatter. We invented buckets. I’m pleased that I haven’t purged yet. I see so many things.

I see me. I see my masturbation. I see my expressions. I see my obfuscations. I see my misunderstandings. I see my problems and my potentials, laid out in such vividness. Now I’m writing a book. Now I’m giving a speech at my old high school. Now I’m on stage, making people dance with increasing ecstatic intensity. Now I’m a teacher. I see my mother, checking up on me in the middle of the night when I was seven. Now I’m raising a son of my own. I watch him grow from a baby to a teenager in thirty seconds. It’s so obvious.

I can do anything.

Correction: You can do anything.

And… I already knew that.

Yes.

How did I forget? Why the FUCK did I forget?

Don’t feel guilty. You’re fine.
Wanna hear a joke?

What?

Knock knock.

Who’s th-

… OH GHUUUUAAAAAAGGHGHHHGHGHG

Splatter. Spit. Repeat. I laugh so hard. I laugh SO hard. I’m a madman in a room full of seekers. Splatter. The beautiful music is contrasted with the sounds of so many digestive upheavals.

Pretty good, huh? I wrote that myself.
We are infinite. Each and all of us together. We are the cosmic ancient story. We will never ever die. Not truly. Because there is only this. There is only this. Your body will disintegrate, but it will become the insects, the worms and the ground. Your dreams, your hopes, your accomplishments, the happiness you will create and have created, the love you’ve inspired, the community you foster will never die. You and I are not separate from infinity, silly. That’s why it’s infinity. You’re an integral, important, consequential part of it.

It’s so funny. It’s so simple. I see Bill Hicks and Hunter S. Thompson. I see Terence. We were all right. It’s love. It’s love. It’s love. I feel the shaman’s hand on the top of my head. I place my hand on his. It’s love.

It’s love. And I love you. This next part is gonna be rough.

I see the inspiration behind every visionary artwork ever made. I see my body stretched through infinite potentialities. I stumble in my seat. I feel like I’m dying. As soon as I make the effort to sit back up, to not lose control… I don’t lose control. It’s so goddamn funny. I try to keep it in because I might be freaking others out. And I don’t want to do that.

I love them.

I’ll wrap it up here: It was fucking amazing. I saw my potential, I saw my death, I saw the great hilarious fucking joke this universe is and is and is. I think I’m going to have a hard time integrating this into my daily life, but that’s the fun, isn’t it? I can let go into oblivion, or climb through complexity and greater complexity, therefore enabling greater complexity through my very existence and persistence. I don’t need to worry, ever. It might be true that this is just a ride… but really, it just IS. And this is it.

We as humans can escape our biological shells to become star-hopping architects of ever-increasing potentiality, or we can become victims of our own bubble of consumption and realize ourselves into a self-defeating cancer… and either of those is okay. It’d be a damn shame if the latter happened in my opinion, but really… it’s okay. This universe is okay.

I think ayahuasca is the anti-virus. Most of life (on this planet, anyway) is about killing to get ahead. You push others down to get on top. Ayahuasca (and shrooms, too) have discovered the ultimate secret, though: We don’t need to. We can all help each other to become the best we can be – which is infinite. And the more we bring along, the more THEY bring along, and the closer to a higher infinity we all become. Exponential.

10/10 would drink again, highly recommend. Don’t be stupid though and do it through trusted, loving sources, instead of misguided humans who don’t know what they’re doing – because they exist.

You are all perfect and I am too. And I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. Don’t let anyone or anything negative get you down, because that’s no fun. We’re better than that. Mad love. Peace. Have wonderful lives, everyone.

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  • Your web site is really useful. Many thanks for sharing.

  • Saw this post on Reddit as well and really enjoyed it. It’s great how he frames the experience as a dialogue!